Romantic Relationships

February 14, 2011

Valentine’s Day can often reinforce how much couples belong together or tear them further apart. Now research shows how you and your mate get along really does matter to a successful relationship.

In three separate, but linked studies, researchers at the University of Florida, University of New Mexico, and Lisbon University Institute found dominance characteristics like looks, money, or social status seem to matter a lot when deciding whether to go on a first date. But, they don’t mean as much by the time of a first anniversary.

Gregory Webster/UF psychologist: “Things like agreeableness or how nice you view your partner as being tend to play a large role in whether or not we stay together or break up. It turns out none of the dominance dimensions in this particular sample predicted later breakups. So it may be more important for choosing a mate, but may not be as important for relationship maintenance.”

Results among romantic partners in monogamous relationships cite agreeableness as the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction. Experts also suggest not to underestimate the significance of Valentine’s Day.

Gregory Webster/UF psychologist: “Valentine’s Day can be a make or break time for couples. So if the relationship is going very well and the couples are both very giving, it turns out that can actually improve and strengthen a relationship. However if one or both couples is on the outs or having odd feelings about the relationship, sometimes those emerge right around Valentine’s Day.”

And experts say breakups often spike right around the most romantic day of the year.